Finding this diary and reading these entries brings an overwhelming feeling of emotions over me. I am so grateful for a snapshot into my young brain, a deep insight into one of my most formative years in Lagos. Alone and trying to build a sense of community in whatever way I knew how, boy crazy and overly invested in a relationship that when I became the age Nate was when we met - I realised it was deeply inappropriate. In fact, some element of me always knew it was inappropriate but didn't understand the depth until later on in life.
The relationship between us from him leaving our secondary school until we met again wasn't close at all. He kept me at a close enough distance where I always knew he was interested in me. But I never really knew him, and he didn't know me, infact the version of me he knew most was 11 year old Honey, and after our latest and final interaction I believe that was who he most preferred me to be most.